Yes to YAZ! – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

May 31, 2021

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is my favorite horror franchise as it not only deals with a fucked up family (so scandalous!) but also with a timeless supervillain, Leatherface.

I am not going to lie, sometimes my brain hurts while trying to make sense of the many timelines and characters but, baby, the whole Texas Chainsaw universe—eight movies and counting—is very entertaining and fun to watch so it is definitely worth a headache or two lol. One thing is for sure, movie after movie, no matter the scenario or point in time, the always misunderstood Leatherface is the one who is victorious at the end of the film which makes him a true icon in the genre, and the kills, don’t forget the kills! That towering, faceless (aka emotionless aka non-human) monster of a man, armed with a chainsaw, a meat cleaver, and meat hooks equals perfection in my book.

I would like to give you now my Top 5 Yes to YAZ! list of the most enjoyable moments from the classic nightmare that is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) remake:

No. 5 – The black & white classified police footage of the crime-scene walk-through played at the beginning and the end; the found footage style paired with the awkward interaction from those in it was so unnerving to watch and would have loved more of it.

No. 4 – Erin’s smart character; that woman was such a badass and don’t get me started with that dreamy body of hers. (I will stop here before I embarrass myself.)

No. 3 – Sheriff Hoyt and his family; they all were scary and somehow managed to be the perfect example of what gaslighting and manipulation looks like. I rather deal with Leatherface than with those demented folks, I’ll tell you that much…

No. 2 – Leatherface, my beautiful, beautiful Leatherface and his usual shenanigans; I know this must apply exclusively to me and my silly imagination, but the reason why I enjoy his character so much is because I sort of see him as a victimized child (yikes, it sounds bad when I say it aloud, doesn’t it?) trapped in the body of a powerful man whose sole purpose is to protect his family. In my mind, the family is the problem and Leatherface is just there paying the consequences of years of abuse and neglect (projecting much, are we?) – come on, this cannot be that crazy of an idea and I even bet you know what I’m talking about if you also watched Texas Chainsaw (2013) and Leatherface (2017).

No. 1 – The suicide of the young hitchhiker; this scene was extremely brutal and blew my mind, haaaard! The poor girl looked so messed up and frail that I immediately felt sorry for her and wanted to protect her. My heart hurt when she started crying and yelling to go the other way because she did not want to go back to the “bad man,” as she called him, when suddenly, she started freaking out even more and reached down her skirt and grabbed a handgun out of her vagina and put it in her mouth and pulled the trigger. Fuck.

So there you have it, bada-bing, bada-boom, the wacky Texans kept it real and did a great job as per usual. Bye, bye!

Excuse me, you mind getting the fuck outta my way, son? -Sheriff Hoyt

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

watches LORDS OF CHAOS once R.I.P. Dead (1969-1991)

May 3, 2021

HULU had Lords of Chaos (2018) on my For You section and since it said it was about “a teenager's quest to launch Norwegian Black Metal in Oslo in the early 1990s [resulting] in a very violent outcome” I thought to myself, why the hell not and immediately hit play on the movie. Today I am NOT here to tell you how much I loved the docudrama although I did (thank you, algorithm), but instead I am here to express my hatred (ew, hatred is such a strong word) for what I learned happened to poor Dead in real life #RIP.

But before I start talking about Dead, I would like to say that those two other Mayhem guys were crazy! The band’s co-founder and guitar player Øystein "Euronymous" Aarseth for using Dead’s suicide picture on an album cover and for being a bad Satanist (all smoke and no fire), although I do have to give him props for having such a great eye for business and marketing —knowing that once you told people they were not worthy of listening to your ‘evil’ music would make them want it even more was brilliant, no wonder why he is still considered the creator of true Norwegian Black Metal. And do not get me started with bass player Kristian "Varg" Vikernes who not only was a church-burning neo-Nazi but also Øystein’s killer — yikes!

[Quick side note: It is not lost on me that if old-timey black-metalheads knew that a welcoming, all-inclusive, open-minded, well-adjusted, happy American woman was writing online about their beloved exclusive subculture they would low-key have a stroke, and for that I would politely tell them to please calm down and take a few deep breaths because it’s been three decades already and these are nothing but the meaningless ramblings of a total stranger on a blog so, yada, yada, yada, it’s okay, no one cares, I promise.]

Swedish singer Per "Dead" Yngve Ohlin aka Pelle was born on January 16, 1969 and died in Norway on April 8, 1991 of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. He was 22 years old.

Dead joined Mayhem in 1988 as their vocalist and was regarded as extreme onstage, not only for wearing corpse paint on his face and for burying and digging his show clothes so they would have a rotten smell, but also for cutting himself in front of the live audience. Self-harm and death were big topics for Dead.

Some say that due to a sports accident, or a beating from bullies, Dead’s spleen ruptured when he was 10 years old and was pronounced dead at the hospital. This event played the biggest role on Dead’s life, messing with his head to the point where some people speculated that he must have developed Cotard delusion which made him believe he was really dead.

"Dead didn't see himself as human; he saw himself as a creature from another world. He said he had many visions that his blood has frozen in his veins, that he was dead. That is the reason he took that name. He knew he would die." -Stian "Occultus" Johannsen

Those around Dead knew he suffered from severe Depression, yet, no one did anything to help him out. Not sure if it was because they were all young men with no real life experience, or because they were men and omg only pussies get sick, or because it was a different time and Mental Illness was still considered a big no-no among the general population, or because it was Norway and damn it they do things differently there. I guess what I want to say is that, hypothetically, had I been there, I would have said something to try make him seek medical attention or at the very least had taken away from him the loaded shot gun and knives.

“Excuse the blood, but I have slit my wrists and neck. It was the intention that I would die in the woods so that it would take a few days before I was possibly found. I belong in the woods and have always done so. No one will understand the reason for this anyway. To give some semblance of an explanation I'm not a human, this is just a dream and soon I will wake. It was too cold and the blood kept clotting, plus my new knife is too dull. If I don't succeed dying to the knife I will blow all the shit out of my skull. Yet I do not know. I left all my lyrics by "Let the good times roll"—plus the rest of the money. Whoever finds it gets the fucking thing. As a last salutation may I present "Life Eternal". Do whatever you want with the fucking thing. / Pelle. I didn't come up with this now, but seventeen years ago.”

Is there a way to end on a good note this morbid post? Well, let’s see… in 2009 Roadrunner Records positioned Dead in number 48 on their TOP 50 GREATEST METAL FRONTMEN OF ALL TIME list, but I guess that recognition was not much in comparison to the fact that music scene outsiders, back in 1991, became aware of the existence of Norwegian Black Metal because of Dead’s suicide, granted, it was a sad and unfortunate introduction, nevertheless, it propelled the new genre across Metal communities all around the world.

Rest in peace, Dead, your life was brutal and short, but it meant a great deal to many. Hail Satan.

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

Not a Horror Movie: The Tax Collector (2020)

March 30, 2021

Is it just me being biased, or is The Tax Collector (2020) really good? What can I say, sometimes my judgment gets clouded when my Mexican culture is represented well, even if done via a violent crime/action movie, so I ask again, am I being too generous or is the film actually great? What was that? You have no idea of what I am talking about because it is not a horror movie (nerd!) and you can’t relate? What!? You haven’t even watched the trailer yet? Here, let me help you fix that:

So, full disclosure, I’ve re-watched the movie a couple of times because it makes me feel giddy and happy inside as I see my family in it, I mean, obviously not the criminal part (ew, how dare you!?) but the gente, the day-to-day stuff that Mexican families do, like gathering around to eat big meals, cocinando chiles y llenando la casa de humo, persinandose and praying, being loud, getting ready para los Quince Años, dancing, celebrating life, just good vibes all around. Maybe it’s just me being nostalgic for the good old days when I used to live near my family, but man, there is something so incredibly comforting about seeing scenes like this one:

[Side note: Ever since I watched 3 From Hell (2019) by Rob Zombie I felt so bitter by the way Mexicans were wrongly represented, like caricatures, with silly sombreros and big dresses, living in dirt and poverty. So yes, as soon as I watched a pretty damn accurate representation of my people even if that representation was for a small part of our rich culture—that of family values—I was like, Muchas gracias, The Tax Collector!]

The other aspect of the movie that I enjoyed quite a lot was the sense of humor from Creeper, I mean, honest to God, it was so refreshing seeing a badass like him making goofy jokes while also talking in a sober voice about the benefits of good nutrition and mindfulness – what a hoot! That Creeper guy was scary though, like, too intense for my taste but at the same time sort of, ahem, charming? Don’t ask me why the bad boy approach works, it just does, okay? By the way, I understand that the actor playing that role was not Mexican (everyone else was, yes?) but I have to say that it worked, it really did work for me and did not find him unbelievable or cringey, plus, I admired the fact that he got a real Mexican tattoo on his chest, just for this film.

Can we get serious for a moment? The main character, David Cuevas, was hands down the best role model in the whole movie as he embodied both the bad and the good, the senseless and the reasonable, the ‘collector’ and the protector, the criminal and the business man, the murderer and the family man, the heir and the forsaken. I think he, himself, said it perfectly when talking to Creeper about what it was like to be in his shoes:

“I love my family. I love God. God allows me to walk through darkness and come back into the light. I have two worlds. You can too.” -David

Before I close this post and go re-watch the movie again, I would like to quickly list just for fun all the other things I enjoyed about it, SPOILERS AHEAD:

The family con las hermanas y tíos / “The Mexican Kardashians” / L.A.’s gritty neighborhoods / meditating is “satanic” lol / actual unsettling satanic rituals / slow motion shoot-out / hardcore violence (way too much, way too many heads smashed #gross) / the bloody bathtub #romantic / buried money / motorcycle chic / chocolate bars with hidden messages / la fiesta con la cumbia / “That’s like the female you. You guys should get married and have evil babies and shit.” / important characters dying / the soundtrack & music score (Sneaking Into The Compound by Michael Yezerski) / the open ending

In Love and Fear,

-Marath