Original Post Date: 12.22.18
Andrea is a complicated woman experiencing normal human emotions. Andrea hasn’t moved on from a defunct long-term relationship with a widower. She used to live with him and his two kids at his house. Used to. Years later, Andrea still babysits the kids, now teenagers. Andrea needs to move on.
Amityville: It’s About Time (1992) tells the story of a haunted clock taken from the original evil Amityville house, yes, that’s is true, however, this horror tale focuses on the human struggle as told by a female perspective; the possessed clock is just a very important background element.
This was my second time watching this movie. The first time I did I was a kid and let me tell you something, it kind of fucked me up. As an eleven year-old my brain was definitely not ready to take in all the information and imagery presented in the story, because the story was—as I just came to realize—a very adult story.
So Jacob, Andrea’s ex, goes to New York for work and has her look after his family while he is away; when he comes back he brings a souvenir, the clock. Andrea is ready to leave but Jacob convinces her to spend the night and thanks to this conversation she gives us the best line from the movie:
“I hate having regret for breakfast.” – Andrea
So yeah, she spends the night and has great sex with him. Next morning, Andrea has some weird interaction with the kids, Lisa and Rusty, before leaving for her class at grad school. Meanwhile, our guy Jacob decides to go for a run and oh no, he gets viciously attacked by a dog, and guess what, Andrea decides to take care of him while he heals. DUN DUN DUUUUN!!!
This is when it goes downhill for Andrea. Listen honey, as a strong independent woman it makes me so mad to see smart women do dumb shit because of a guy. I’m like, honey no, just wake up and do you, you know what I mean? Anywhohow.
So yes, the clock, don’t forget about the clock. The clock in the house is playing tricks on everyone: Jacob becomes a hot mess of a maniac slob, Lisa becomes an aggressive hot nymphomaniac, and Rusty becomes an adorable confused mess.
HOT MESS:
HOT:
MESS:
At this point Andrea realizes she is over her head, yet does not make the decision to get the hell out of there so she has her boyfriend, Leonard, go visit her at Jacob’s house. The boyfriend is not only an insightful Psychiatrist, but also a very likable and handsome man.
“You have a pyromaniacal Nazi down the hall. You’ve got a toxic lunatic in the master bedroom. The only one around here that seems normal is Lisa and that’s because I’ve not met her yet.” -Leonard
Then, because it was a horror movie, a bunch of messed up things happened and people died, normal gory stuff. [Side note: I must mention that this film was unintentionally funny and made me laugh unironically. It was that organic lighthearted humor from the 90’s that makes you feel nostalgic for the good old days. Anywhohow.]
** SPOILERS AHEAD **
The ending was so good and worth the wait… but I don’t mean the movie was boring or nothing, on the contrary, all the things that happened, all the characters and uncomfortable moments between them, all the unique ways that the clock controlled time (stopping, slowing, fast-forwarding, rewinding) was so entertaining to watch! What I meant by worth the wait was because since the clock restarted time—after exploding—to the beginning of the movie when Andrea was watching the kids, it did so in a way that Andrea was the only one remembering the whole ordeal and honey, she finally said No more and left! Success! Good for her!
“It’s about time, that’s what.” -Andrea
- Marath