Original Post Date: 11.09.16
After work all I wanted to do was grab some take-out and watch a movie and forget about politics. And I did not want to hear about chores either. Screw that. I’m an American, dammit, and today, November 9, 2016 I felt like doing absolutely nothing except for loathing in self-pity while indulging in massive amounts of carbs and gore. Enter Cabin Fever 3: Patient Zero (2014) – 11/09/16 (9:06pm PT)
I was browsing the Horror section on Netflix when I stumbled upon a title that seemed familiar enough for me to take a closer look and omg, it was the movie I had been wanting to watch for so long but forgot the name title. Needless to say, I got super excited and hit play immediately.
Oh but wait, let’s take a sec to acknowledge Cabin Fever (2002) which was so good and original and weird and creepy (a must-watch for any horror aficionado), and Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009) which, based on the trailer, takes up where the first one left off—the contaminated water—but with an added comedic twist to it (I have not watched it yet because it looks too high school and basic for my taste). “Patient Zero” would be the prequel for them both and, my friend, it left me well satisfied. I really liked it!
Not only was the movie super gory but also clever. Our Patient Zero, Porter, was important for the story, obviously, but the main character for me, in my opinion, was Marcus as he was basically the voice of reason on the entire film. He has the good guy who would not give up until he saved his family and friends.
Also, both the opening and the ending credit sequences in slow-motion were amazing. I even dare to say those two were the strongest when it came to cinematography. They were perfect.
I am just realizing I have not mentioned what the movie is all about… hey, I am not going to edit tonight’s writing, f*ck that sh*t. The movie is about two stories that collide towards the end of the film. The first story is about a guy, Porter, who is the carrier of the flesh-eating virus and at the same time the cure of said flesh-eating virus. This virus does not mess around. If you get it, expect your skin to turn to blisters and mush in a matter of hours. Expect to die a painful death in the least dignified way possible. Your flesh will melt off, basically, like puree. And this guy Porter? Yeah, he is being held against his will in a tropical foreign research facility.
The second story is about a guy, Marcus, who is going to get married and has a surprise bachelor party organized by his brother. The party is located in that same tropical foreign place. The group of friends is having a good time when all of the sudden two of them start having some skin reaction after having gone for a swim, but it isn’t a big deal until one of them starts bleeding from the genitals… “Oh baby, you got so wet.” (That’s the other thing, the movie was full of great one-liners such as “look, you might need a referral.”)
Well, at some point Marcus and Porter cross paths and that’s when things get even more interesting and gory. I am not going to tell you any more info, go watch it if you want to have a good time enjoying the misery of others. I promise you will appreciate the limbs-falling and skin-melting-off sequences, they are très original!
This fresh blood made me feel itchy.
—Marath