Original Post Date: 08.01.18

Sleepaway Camp (1983) had been on my radar for quite some time but its premise did not catch my attention enough to rent it online; I don’t know, I have this thing where I get a bit annoyed by child actors in horror movies so the mere thought of sitting in front of my computer for an hour and a half, cringing at every little thing, rolling my eyes in disapproval, well, all that prevented me from watching it. But just recently, images of the movie seemed to pop up on my IG feed and since even Witch Finger Horror Podcast released an episode about it—which by the way I will listen to as soon as I post this entry—I took it as a sign and said to myself, ‘Marath, darling, just freaking do it, would you?’. So I did!

Honest opinion? The movie was not as annoying as I thought it would be, but keep in mind I already knew the big reveal from the end (don’t worry, I am not going to spoil it for you). Needless to say, I watched the movie for the beginning and middle parts of the story. I wanted to know about Angela. More honest opinion? Fuck you, aunt Martha!

Poor dear Angela was super shy and quiet and awkward at summer camp, but luckily for her she had cousin Ricky to protect her from the adults running the camp, the teenage camp counselors, and her very own camp peers. Poor, poor Angela, she got shit from everyone just for being different! By the way, cousin Ricky was aunt Martha’s son, and aunt Martha was the one taking Angela in when her father and sibling were killed in a boating accident. Poor Angela.

So by now we know Angela survived a traumatic event in her childhood, got adopted by crazy-eyes Martha, is terribly shy and quiet, is being bullied by everyone, and, thankfully, has Ricky by her side. Aaaaand this is when things start getting weird as, one by one, Angela’s bullies start dying. Let’s take a look at all the summer camp deaths in chronological order.

Pedophile cook, boiling water:

Counselor #1, drowning:

Counselor #2, bees:

Counselor #3, stabbed:

Camp peer, smothered + something freaky done with a hair straightener? (you guys, WTF!):

More counselors, hacked:

Sleazy camp owner, arrow to the neck:

Boyfriend, decapitated:

If you were to ask all of us who know the true story about Angela (fuck you again, aunt Martha!), yes, the real story about “Angela”, if you were to ask us if she was alright, we would gladly tell you that no, she is not alright, but thank you so much for asking anyway.

Let us raise our imaginary glasses to make a toast for Angela, a badass survivor. Hear, hear!

- Marath

P.S. Now if you excuse me, I have a date with the witches. Episode 32, here I come!