Well, this sucks. Today the unexpected happened and I am conflicted about it. Should I be relieved or saddened? Is this personal growth or self-censorship? Is my sudden change of attitude toward true crime content the start of something better? (Cannot tell if better is the correct word, different, yes, I prefer that, the start of something different.)
It all began a few weeks ago when I watched an analysis video by Pinely called The Broken Morality of True Crime Videos where he focused, to my amazement, on the ethics, or lack thereof, of treating true crime content as entertainment. Gulp.
So there I was, not only a true crime enthusiast who unabashedly consumed loads of graphic content on the regular basis (this now sounds so sad to me as I type it), but also a horror blogger whose ongoing body of work included five true crime posts. How am I supposed to feel after realizing I am part of the problem on both ends? The entertained and the entertainer? Double gulp.
My official introduction to the true crime genre as entertainment happened in 2020 when Netflix released a captivating docuseries about Aaron Hernandez; my ferocious curiosity on the tragic case left me looking for more information on the internet and on books and of course I found it (it being the answer as to why he did what he did… Netflix did not discuss that), and of course I wrote about Hernandez here on my blog as I was completely enthralled by the case.
So, the internet, right? A door was opened with Hernandez and I was all in, just like that.
From 2020 to 2022 I was part of the horde watching, reading, listening to, and writing about true crime... I do not know if I will continue doing that in 2023 and beyond, you see, that powerful video from Pinely really shook me to my core a few weeks ago and left me feeling uneasy, but today while at the gym, as if it could not get worse for me, I was visually bombarded by local, national, and overseas tragedies, as well as by two different crime investigations in progress (two!) via the multiple news channels blasting from the big tv sets placed in front of us runners—my goodness, what happened to gyms playing reruns of the latest basketball or football games?
The bigger problem was on my face now, I had felt it already, but I could really see it this time for what it was.
I have unsubscribed from yt channels, unfollowed podcasts, removed docuseries from my queue, and deleted books from my wishlist as the mere thought of me consuming more true crime content in the immediate and near future aggravates me.
The one single thing that makes me tolerate all of this is knowing that, while writing the five posts, I DID NOT treat with disrespect or indifference those affected by the events. I treated true crime with the heaviness and seriousness it always deserves.
So this is it, horror friend, thank you for reading this brief update for the blog, thank you for your time.
In Love and Fear,
—Marath
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