LET’S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH (1971)

May 2, 2022

“I sit here and I can't believe that it happened. And yet I have to believe it. Dreams or nightmares? Madness or sanity? I don't know which is which.” –Jessica

Jessica and her husband, Duncan, along with their friend, Woody, move from the city to the countryside to start over after a big life-changing event, her institutionalization. Jessica has recently been released from a six-month stay at a mental hospital and is happy to be free again, ready for a fresh start thanks to the support of her loving husband and encouraging friend.

There is something else you should know about Jessica. She is playful, joyful, curious, and a kind person, so much so that when they first arrive to their new farmhouse they are surprised by a drifter who has been crashing at their property, and sweet Jessica asks her to stay for dinner and leave in the morning, when they can give her a ride into town.

Things did not stay great for long as Jessica started having visions of a woman in white, and even though she was alarmed that her condition might have returned, she remained calm and did her best at acting as if nothing was wrong and kept thinking to herself over and over, “Don't tell them. Act normal.”

But one can only fake it for so long. Right?

When Jessica could no longer keep up appearances she unraveled to the point that her husband asked her if she wanted to go back to the hospital, mind you, by this time he had been gaslighting her and having an affair with the drifter who, due to Jessica’s generosity, was now living with them at the farmhouse.

A lot of crappy stuff happened to Jessica but do not worry, I am *not* going to spoil it here for you as I believe it is important that you, yourself, watch the movie and observe said crappy stuff as it develops, little by little, so you can determine if it was real or not, supernatural or not, if Jessica experienced it in her head or in real life, if there is hope in her future or if her gloomy destiny has been set in stone.

Now, if you would allow me, I’d like to share with you the many reasons why I fell in love with LET’S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH (1971):

Because mental illness was at the forefront of the story, whilst not being the reason why all hell broke loose/ Because we had insight into Jessica’s destructive inner dialogue during stressful situations via voice-overs, plus, her voice was soft and calm which made it a little bit more unnerving to listen to (imagine someone telling you they love you, imagine their caring tone of voice, their warmth, then imagine the words they are using are violent, something like, “Go ahead, kill yourself, you know there is no point.”)/ Because we could see as Jessica struggled how she forced herself to appear normal, to carry on conversations, to laugh on cue, to be polite, to be pleasant, to be her old self (this made me feel so much compassion for her, like, damn, I had to remind myself it was just a movie lol)/ Because as she got scared, while not being sure if the thing was real or not, she pretended not being bothered, even as her lower lip quivered and her eyes looked down sheepishly/ Because when the drifter woman made aggressive passes at her while swimming in the cove, she reacted in a physical way that made it feel too real (seriously, it triggered me!) with her automatic politeness deflecting the immediate danger of the situation, like the prey sweet-talking the predator as a way of survival/ Because when Jessica let herself break down she retreated into a smaller state, as in, her body looked more frail, thinner even, too soft, too fragile/ Because of the way the real and unreal elements developed making Jessica doubt if it was true or not, then taking it back and changing her mind making us feel dizzy with her because we were seeing what she was seeing and it was confusing/ Also, the juxtaposition at the beginning of the film with the hearse, the stop at the cemetery, with Jessica exiting the vehicle from the back exposing a coffin-like cello case, all symbolizing death and end and sorrow, while at the same time having the characters externalizing how great and happy this new start was for them, especially for Jessica.

“For the first time in months, I’m free. Forget the doctors. Forget that place. I’m okay now. We’ll start over.” -Jessica

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

The Heartbreaking Case of Conrad Henri Roy III (1995-2014)

February 20, 2022

WARNING: The following post depicts graphic content about Depression, Suicidal Ideation, and Suicide. Please click out of this page if you are offended by these topics. And please, if you are emotionally hurting and contemplating suicide, stop what you are doing and immediately contact The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call their number at 1-800-273-8255 for free and confidential help.

Eighteen-year-old Conrad Henri Roy III recorded the above 2-minute video of himself talking about his mental state in June, 2014. A month later he would take his own life.

## PART 1 – FACTS ##

Conrad was born in Massachusetts and was the eldest of three siblings. He was characterized by his mother as a nice and sensitive kid, and by his father as a good and hardworking employee. The mother worked at a psychiatric hospital, and the father at the family’s marine towing and salvage business. The couple separated in 2012 when Conrad was 16 years old, and it proved to be a difficult time for him as in October of that year he attempted suicide twice, once by drowning and once by overdosing on pills.

Conrad’s mental illness was treated with antidepressants which seemed to help but, as evidence would later show, he was still plagued by negative self-talk and low self-esteem. To make matters worse, in February, 2014 his father was arrested by the Mattapoisett police for assault and battery after pinning him down, his own son, and punching him repeatedly.

However, Conrad’s family and personal life looked happy and normal from a distance, with him living with his mother in Fairhaven, Massachusetts, with having a good relationship with his sisters, with working with his father, uncle, and grandfather in their family’s marine salvage business, with him being a good student and graduating from High School in June, 2014 on the Honor Roll with a 3.88 GPA, with being a good friend to his buddies, with being athletic and playing different sports, with enjoying sailboats, with getting his Tugboat Captain’s License at 18 years of age, and with him getting a new job at the Boston Duck Tours to captain their boat.

A long and prosperous life by the sea seemed to be in the cards for Conrad until his mental illness made him believe—one can only speculate—that by ending his own life it would put a stop to his unbearable emotional pain. (Depression is a common and manageable mood disorder, but it should never be underestimated and left untreated especially if the person going through it talks about suicidal ideation. Depression and suicide should not be romanticized, they are not a game, and in a worst case scenario they have the potential of killing its host.)

On Saturday, July 12, 2014 Conrad went for a walk to the beach with his mother and two sisters, and, later on when asked about it in retrospect, they claimed not seeing anything out of the ordinary with him, he looked to be in good spirits, slightly distracted on his phone but nothing to be worried about. After the beach, the three siblings stopped for ice cream and once back home, a little after 6pm, Conrad told his family he was going to head out to his friend’s house and that more likely he would not make it to dinner. He got in his truck and drove away with no plan on returning.

On the morning of Sunday, July 13, 2014, Lynn Roy, the mother, noticed that her son did not spend the night home which was unlike him so she went to the friend’s house to look for him, and nothing. Then, she went to her ex’s house, and nothing. Then, after the gravity of the situation set in her stomach, Lynn called the police to report her son missing and just a few hours later they called back notifying her that his truck had been found parked outside the local Kmart and that Conrad was inside the truck. Deceased.

The cause of death was ruled a suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning via the fumes of a portable gasoline-powered water pump.

In an unexpected move by the authorities—unexpected because it seemed to be an open-and-shot case for the family—Conrad’s phone was inspected by two Detectives and a special focus was placed on the only text message thread left behind on the device by Conrad, the one he had with a female contact. There were thousands of messages—which police forensically extracted from the smartphone—with a large number of them, words and pictures, being alarming in nature, and the Detectives agreed that had it not been for the cyberbullying inflicted from the female to Conrad, he would still—not more likely, but would still—be alive today. They took the evidence to the DA, put together the case, and on February 4, 2015, Michelle Diana Carter, age 17, was apprehended and charged with involuntary manslaughter. (From this point forward she will be referred to as the defendant.)

## PART 2 – BAD COMPANY ##

In 2012, when the Roy family vacationed in Florida while visiting relatives, Conrad met the defendant through mutual acquaintances and started a long-distance relationship with her; even though they both lived in Massachusetts, not even an hour away from each other, they only hung out in person twice (some sources say three times) over a two-year period—no pictures exist of them together as a couple—and chose to communicate exclusively via text on a daily basis, multiple times a day, talking about age-appropriate subjects—one can only assume—but also, and most importantly, as court evidence would later show, about their own struggles with mental illness.

Conrad suffered from depression and social anxiety and was taking medication for it. The defendant suffered from an eating disorder and was medicating as well.

For the majority of their two-year relationship the defendant advised Conrad to not only seek professional help, but to also go to inpatient treatment like her, but he brushed her off by saying that nothing worked for him. Then, on the last weeks of Conrad’s life the defendant turned on him, encouraging him to end his life. These were the final texts they exchanged on Conrad’s very last day alive:

## PART 3 – TRIAL ##

On June 5, 2017 the Defense opted for a bench trial, which is a trial without a jury and where the guilty/non-guilty verdict is decided solely by the Judge. This must have been a calculated move on their part as they surely must have predicted that when the Commonwealth presented the [heartbreaking] evidence to the jury, it would have made it difficult for them to keep an unbiased opinion and, more likely, ended up favoring the victim.

[Supreme Court, Commonwealth v. Carter – to view the 70-page pdf file, click HERE]

The Judge chose the verdict based on the law, not emotion, and on June 16, 2017 the defendant was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter (she was allowed to go free on bail until sentencing). On August 3, 2017 she was sentenced to serve a two-and-a-half-year term, with fifteen months to be served in the Bristol County House of Corrections, the rest of the balance suspended, and five years of probation to be served (she was allowed to go home until all of her court appeal options were exhausted).

On February 11, 2019 the defendant began serving her fifteen-month sentence. On January 23, 2020 she was released early from prison due to good behavior.

“… Sam his death is my fault like honestly I could have stopped him I was on the phone with him and he got out of the car because it was working and he got scared and I fucking told him to get back in Sam because I knew he would do it all over again the next day and I couldnt have him live the way he was living anymore I couldnt do it I wouldnt let him…”

## PART 4 – PERSONAL OPINION ##

I understand depression. I understand teenage behavior. And I can do my very best to try to understand [from a distance, years later, thanks to the evidence shared with the public] the harmful, negligent, and secretive relationship between the defendant and Conrad. What I cannot understand is how a young and athletic and strong human body can be sitting in an enclosed environment, getting poisoned by deadly fumes, having the survival instinct kick in with the lungs “screaming” for air and the legs and arms “pushing and shoving” against the “orders” from the depressed brain to “just take it” and die, by having the evolutionary physical panic reaction help the body escape and exit the enclosed deadly environment to preserve itself, for all of that to be overridden by the verbal instruction of someone else over the phone, to simply going right back into the enclosed deadly environment without the body resisting and putting up a fight at all? That is what I cannot, and will not, understand.

In my personal opinion—and I am clearly only speculating—I think that 1) Conrad took his prescription sleeping pill to aid him fall sleep in the truck and while waiting for it to take effect he spoke on the phone with the defendant (court records showed they last communicated on 07/12/14 on a phone call that started at 7:12pm which lasted 47 minutes), and that at some point before losing consciousness due to the medication he turned on the portable water pump which became his death sentence within 20 minutes.

I also think that 2) the defendant lied for whatever reason about telling Conrad to get back in the truck as he—and again, I am just speculating—might have never actually gotten out of the truck because if he had then there was no way for his survival instinct, as strong and powerful as it can be expected from a young and athletic and strong human body, to allow him going back. Survival instinct overpowers the body to preserve life, that is how it works, and that is why it works.

If I am right, it would mean that Conrad died peacefully and that the defendant lied.

If I am right, it would mean that Conrad died by his own free will and that the defendant’s lie was the one that caused her own guilty verdict.

If I am right, it would mean there were no winners on this modern-day self-destructive relationship between two young broken souls. Conrad’s depression appeared to have latched to the defendant because his depression was tricking his better judgment and made him see her, use her, as its weapon of choice –because that is what depression does, it lies.

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

January 24, 2022

Oh, hi! How are you, dear friend? It’s been a little while since we last spoke. I hope the holidays were kind to you and yours, and that you welcomed 2022 happy and healthy. There’s nothing new to report on my side of the world, well, I’ve been playing around with the idea of traveling in a few months to the Midwest to attend Slipknot’s new roadshow concert, listen, I am realistically considering my choices as I still feel super weird about traveling again by plane and stuff, I mean, the ‘vid should be under control by this Spring, no problem, but I don’t know, it’s just weird to think about being inches away from strangers, packed like sardines for a few hours—in a plane, no bueno, in a concert, si bueno, don’t get it twisted lol—I mean, it should be totally fine by then, yes, I know, I knoooow, but, like, shit, how can I really, reeeeally know, you know? Anyway, please allow me to stop rambling and let’s jump into today’s movie, my beloved, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990). *SPOILERS AHEAD*

By now, in this horror friendship of ours you must be aware of the fact that Leatherface is my favorite slasher villain as he represents to me—and please don’t judge me too hard for what I am about to say for the millionth time—an afraid little child, trapped in the menacing body of a killing machine, unable to communicate properly, existing by survival and instinct, protecting his family and going into fight mode when necessary, living one day at a time. This not-so-subtle role contradiction is what it’s so appealing to me; it is not a double life, but a balance between a docile soul, unable to understand his surroundings, and explosive rage, embodied in the form of pure muscle and power tools.

Case in point, have you ever noticed how Leatherface only shows up when intruders step into his home? He is not roaming around the streets of Texas, causing mayhem because he is bored and stuff, nah, he is at his home with his family, minding his own business, when—and only when—the thread of strangers wakes him from his dull reality and prompts him to react with violence.

This third installment of the TCM franchise gave us two new aspects of his personality that I really enjoyed watching, I honestly had zero idea I could like Leatherface even more but (surprise!) here I am telling you about it.

The first one was that he was playful, like, we literally saw him practicing his spelling with a peculiar gadget which asked him to spell the word Clown by first showing him the picture of a clown and oh my god, he kept spelling Food over and over again because he, allegedly, more likely, who knows at this point, must have captured and eaten a person in clown attire (don’t forget the Sawyers were cannibals), seeing Leatherface getting frustrated by entering the wrong word broke my heart for some reason; also when it came to the playfulness, Leatherface took the Walkman cassette player away from their current ‘house guest’ and oh my god, he looked like a sweetheart listening to it with the orange headphones and stuff (total 80’s nostalgia!).

The second new aspect of his personality was a mature one and, at first, I didn’t know how to feel about it but I then realized how cool it was –Leatherface was a dad! (Ah!) He fathered an adorable little girl, a psycho girl, but adorable nonetheless. Also, for what the matriarch of the family said, he—and I am so sorry for the following, actually, you’re too precious, please cover your eyes in three, two , one—got first dibs on the women they captured because, in her own words, “He does make the sweetest damn babies, you know. Junior likes them private parts. We knows what to do with them parts.”

I hope I didn’t traumatize you with that mental picture. My bad. The point was, Leatherface role in the family was to provide protection with his physical strength, and spawn cute babies with his strong genes.

Right, but what about the movie as a whole, you may ask? Straight answer, it was great! It had a bunch of interesting characters like Tinker who was an inventor and insisted technology was the family’s new friend (he built his own arm, Leatherface’s spelling machine, the Excalibur-looking chainsaw, plus other stuff), and Tex who embraced gender roles in a way that was welcoming and refreshing (he went from charming playboy [those looks!] to domestic goddess [that manicure!]). Let’s take a look at the following two stills and notice all the details, including the adorable drawing on the fridge done by the little girl:

As for the ‘good guys’ we had the couple from California who was driving thru Texas to deliver a car, they were bickering at times but it wasn’t annoying or anything, they served their purpose and that was that. There was also Benny who was a Good Samaritan, a local to the area, with plenty of chances to run for his life but alas, decided to stick around and be a hero.

All in all Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III had all the things we love and adore from the TCM franchise: a decaying isolated house, a home that is really a slaughterhouse, a cannibal American family with traditional values that are both negated and reassigned, where normality and monster become reversed, and where the legacy of repression weights heavily not only on the Sawyers but on everyone that comes across their path. (I LOVE THAT SHIT!)

In Love and Fear,

-Marath

P.S. If possible, watch the Unrated version, not the heavily censored R-Rated one. And skip the official trailer, it was silly.